13 February 2009

Turbaconducken Bill

"If the stimulus plan were a Thanksgiving dinner entree, it would be a Turbaconducken — the heart attack-inducing dish of roasted chicken stuffed inside a duck stuffed inside a turkey, all wrapped in endless slabs of bacon." (Michelle Malkin). Psst...don't tell anyone, but there's a tiny trillion-dollar bill that's going to pass congress today. Why does it have to go through today? So Nancy Pelosi can catch her flight to Rome tonight. She had the audacity to claim yesterday in a press conference that the the language is so complex that they just couldn't pass it without putting it down on paper (crazy, I know). So they posted the revised bill online last night around 11p, and Pelosi said that they could now go ahead and pass it this evening because everyone will have had a chance to carefully and methodically peruse it. (AD INSERT: Billy Mays here for Congress' new speed-reading program. Now your child can learn to read 1400 wpm. Just send one easy payment of $1 trillion, plus shipping and handling, to the federal government. FINE PRINT: Results not typical. In fact, this program is guaranteed not to work. All sales final. So suck it.)

I think I'll take a copy with me on my next bathroom break so I can get a good idea of what my great-great-great grandchildren will be paying for. You know, a little light reading...

1 comment:

  1. Maybe you can use it as filler when you send ProvoCrap orders out.