08 April 2009


It's nice to see that the new Government Motors is actively seeking to overhaul its company in an attempt to make it more profitable. (I guess that to be "more profitable" would imply some previous level of profitability. So I suppose they're just trying to become profitable, period).

As part of that endeavor, GM is investing heavily in more fuel efficient and greener vehicles (you know, since there is such an enormous market for that in the US). Their latest project involves a partnership with NH based Segway to produce the Personal Urban Mobility & Accessibility (charmingly called PUMA) vehicle. Are you ready for these wicked specs? It will weigh 300 lbs and travel up to, *gasp*35 mph! Holy freaking crap! Where do I sign up?

Never mind that it looks like someone took a couple wheels off my old big wheel and threw them on a garbage can. Or that I've seen bar stools that can go faster. This is the wave of the future! We will all soon be trading our cars in for these babies! Especially when the government mandates that the banks cease to provide loans for evil polluting combustion vehicles, and can only provide loans for these glorious, eco-friendly, mobile chick-repellers. But who really needs to date, anyway? Certainly no one driving one of these bad boys. But I'm sure the crew of the Starship Enterprise would be impressed.

Unfortunately, the PUMA isn't scheduled to be available until Q1 2010. But this just-released photo show you the design planned for the final model:

All hail the Glorious Leader! Just one question, though. Where do you fit the teleprompter? ZING!

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